And this most recent Pause was not on a Saturday! How confusing! Life can indeed surprise us in a snap–no news in that, and yet somehow the energy it takes to go from one day to another requires us to ‘float our disbelief’. It seems that for me lately, lessons in accepting changes have come at me in my daily life and workspaces– even more than usual. It’s been a very confusing time, but let’s just leave it at that for now. The facts, as I see them, are not such that I would want to share now. Maybe later !
But when I have the chance to quiet and look around, I find there are signs and symbols of how the Creative Intelligence–God–Holy Spirit– Mother Earth/Father Sky is ever-present and available in a loving embrace of my humanness.
Recently my ‘Day Job’ required a change in office, and even more. As I was adjusting to these changes I noticed outside the small window (yay a window!) a beautiful Hummingbird drinking from the small, yellow trumpets growing wildly about in the small closed off space just outside the window. The first day or two was full of confusion within the office room, but looking outside I saw the tiny bird just going about its business without any concern for me. That’s how I believe Mother Nature should handle her world!
Then, probably about Day 3 of all the changes, now with my desk moved next to the window, I watched the hummingbird slow down– a pause if you will. And then she went to the cup-like brownish collection neatly attached to the end of a hanging branch.
The little bird had fluttered all around the nest but until that moment I had not had the patience of mind to be aware of this small miracle happening just feet away. Patience is a word that I struggle with in its meaning– or so I have thought.
In this office is a lovely, huge, old green and ivory bound edition of “The NEW Webster Library of Universal Knowledge.”
Oh what a fun book for bibliophiles! (Yes, another thing that Debra and I share!) So, I looked up patience, and was surprised to see this word has roots connecting to the Latin word for passion. Really? That could explain why I have trouble ever seeing myself as ‘patient’ because I am aware of my heart beating stronger and faster as I inhale and mindfully exhale! In times where I have waited for other interventions, or medicines to take effect, doctors, tooth fillings, decisions to be made by others – I felt my passionate interest and concerns regarding each! How could this be so?
Hmmmm…I read on! ”The character or habit of mind that enables one to suffer afflictions, provocations, or other evil, with a calm, unruffled temper.” Well, I can certainly try to put my gameface on, and sometimes with practice it is more than a try to –it is a being there! Yay!
If you are a bibliophile, you like me, read on to “patience is bearing pain or trial without murmuring.” I thought of the old list of virtues mentioned somewhere in my history or reading of books like “Little Women” where women were noble for ‘suffering in silence‘. When the Hummingbird quiets to do this noble work of nesting and now feeding the little ones I cannot see yet, is she suffering in silence?
I do not believe so. The reason Hummingbirds have this name is because we can hear the noise they do make–their signature “HUM”! I hope you can see that to breathelighter often requires a different style of our usual breathing and one way to get there is by letting the breath flow out like a slow drone, a slight hum, a murmur of our own making from our human doing-ness to our human being-ness.
Thank you for reading and sharing with me how your pauses have been lately!
Blessings, Beth and Hummingbirds (Yes– they mate for life and do this, patiently together!)