The story behind the story…Unbroken: Louis Zamperini–95 years of an amazing life!

Memorial Day Monday I worked around the garden  carrying around my trusty little transistor radio, dialed in to one or two local shows highlighting Memorial Day events from around the Southland.  I was hooked on some interesting veteran interviews and even listened to the replay of a few favorites. Are you familiar with Louis Zamperini? He is somewhat of a local “celebrity” and I’ve heard him interviewed before, but I am mesmerized each and every time.

Zamperini, now 95 years old, was once dubbed the “Torrance (California) Tornado” because of the athleticism that eventually took him to the 1936 Summer Olympics as part of the U.S. track team. But this remarkable man, and I don’t use the adjective glibly, has a life worth studying. Once you begin to learn about him, you want more!

His career in the Olympics was not particularly noteworthy. He finished eighth in the 5000 meter distance event, but two years later did set a national collegiate mile record which held for fifteen years. But in 1941 Zamperini enlisted in the U.S. Army Air Forces and was deployed to Hawaii as a bombardier. It’s at this point that his story takes huge twists and turns, but If I were to relate all the incredible details of the story that follows I would need to write a book.

Fortunately, someone else has already done that!   Laura Hillenbrand,  author of Seabiscuit, successfully published Zamperini’s mesmerizing story in the book, Unbroken.

I am not a very skilled book reviewer. I’m generally a bit uncomfortable with knowing how much to tell! I don’t like to know very much before I start a book, but some of the story is well-known, so I feel free to tell  you that on a routine reconnaissance run  in the South Pacific,  Louis and another crew member crashed into the Pacific Ocean, survived a life raft for 47 days, only to be rescued by the Japanese.  He then spent two years in a Japanese Prison Camp sadistically tortured by one particular guard intent on breaking his spirit with verbal and physical cruelty. Prior to the war Zamperini had a bit of a “bad boy” reputation, and perhaps his rebellious personality  combined with his athleticism helped him not only survive, but return home with exemplary resilience to go forward.

Rather than take the chance that I reveal too much, I will leave it up to you!  If you would like to see some excellent file photos and absorb some added detail, I recommend this  Wall Street Journal article. And if you have another few minutes, you might enjoy this video.

I have heard Zamperini’s story many times, but each time I continue to be captivated by his indomitable spirit!

But I was also intrigued by Hillenbrand’s story!

Laura Hillenbrand contracted chronic fatigue syndrome while still in college. The symptoms associated with her illness have kept her mostly homebound and to write this carefully researched book she located fellow POWs and was able to interview some of his Japanese captors–all from her home office!  She interviewed and collected research from experts on the War in the Pacific  and pulled from Zamperini’s personal files, which he shipped to her for her use. Over the course of the seven years she wrote this book, Hillenbrand never had one face-to-face encounter with Zamperini.

Struggling with her illness, Hillenbrand openly credits Zamperini’s story as a boost to her own inner strength. She says, “Louie’s story is a lesson in the resilience of the soul and the wonderful breadth of possibility that life affords, even in our bleakest hours.”

Click on the link below to go directly to the Random House site and view a Today Show clip featuring Hillenbrand. I think you’d be impressed with her story, too. She certainly chips away at any excuses we may have for not accomplishing any yet unmet goals!

Laura Hillenbrand and Louis Zamperini on The Today Show « Random House Publishing Group – Random House.

I think you catch that I’m enthused about this book and about these two remarkable people. Zamparini is an inspiring and delightful man. You may want to share his story (the book) with others who have a particular interest in WW II history, or simply someone who enjoys a story of courage and resilience. Let me know what you think!

…Debra

Memorial Day Considerations

I thought I’d offer a re-post from Memorial Day 2011. This post was first published within my first month of blogging, so I’m quite sure only my family read it. Memorial Day in the United States is in May, but  the context of remembering those who have lost their lives in service to their country is for all of us, no matter what country we call home.

I recently heard a radio discussion championing the restoration of Memorial Day to its original date, May 30th, rather than the last Monday of the month and the convenience of three-day weekends.  The dialogue caught my attention because I admit I do enjoy the advantage of lengthy Memorial holidays and for many years this particular weekend has been a travel opportunity for priceless family reunions.

I carefully listened to the argument because the person speaking had the only credentials in this discussion that merited attention. As a veteran, his concern was that the original intention of the holiday had shifted to some kind of season opener to summer activity. Although I gratefully acknowledge the sacrifice of men and women who have lost their lives defending our nation, I certainly know that I do not carry the same level of awareness as those who have experienced active military duty. And that goes for their families, too. I recently learned that a good friend of mine is awake long into the night, unable to restore restful sleep patterns now that her son is home from Iraq.  During his lengthy deployment she couldn’t sleep knowing he was in continual danger.  He returned without injury, but the pattern of fear  left anxieties that continue to interrupt her sleep. I wonder if that is a forever change.

I am going to think a little more about the veteran’s request that we petition elected officials to return the Memorial Day observance to its original date, but while I wait for that potential change, I can be a little more mindful, and a lot more grateful. Although there have been members of my family who have served in military conflict, they have returned home. I want to honor those who did not.

CNN featured the story of a young man, I believe still in high school, who started Project Preserveand Honor, “A virtual place for loved ones and friends to both locate the graves of the fallen, and reflect on the memory of their sacrifice.”   I’ve been reading the biographies of some of the young men and women who recently lost their lives in service, and offering up a prayer for those they left behind.

I really should be more continually aware of the sacrifices others have made in contribution of national defense, but it is often easy for life to crowd out that sensitivity.   Certainly members of our  Armed Forces deserve specific attention and honor one specific day a year. Memorial Day does give us motivation to hang our American Flag and contemplate the sacrifice of a relative few for the rest of us.

…Debra

Shifting focus in the middle of the not-so-good…

This hasn’t been the easiest of weeks. My dad has been back in the hospital. I was really hoping that his “second stay” wouldn’t be for more than a day or two, but tomorrow marks the end of another week. I think we’re getting closer to another go at home, but we’re not there yet! It’s almost hard to believe how vigorous he was a month ago…but once that pneumonia got going it quite literally stripped him of his strength, making mobility more difficult…which only further saps available physical energy. I think he’s in the middle of a vicious cycle. Vicious…good word for it.

So home away from home has been the hospital. It’s hard to believe that even this troublesome time has its own rhythms. There’s still work and certain obligations, although it’s amazing to me how quickly things that seemed important as we entered May don’t seem that necessary right now. My mom has taken semi-permanent residency at the hospital, and the rest of us do what we can to be there in support, which includes taking our turns as patient advocates. I shudder to consider what happens to the ill or injured if family members are not available as additional eyes and ears. I suspect I will eventually have a lot to say on this subject…but I  don’t quite have the energy for that conversation right now.

In the middle of a very difficult time, there are still those moments that delight and remind me to reach for joy.

A very special little girl is turning three on Monday. And what did she want to do for her birthday? We live in Southern California, so Disneyland, of course!

Karina requested to have her birthday in Minnie’s kitchen. It took some explanation to convince her that we wouldn’t be able to move her cake and presents to Toon Town. Mommy explained that Minnie’s Kitchen is for ALL the boys and girls. She settled for a picture at Minnie’s kitchen table.

I had to include this picture, too. There are very few extroverts in our family tree. But drama oozes from Karina. She takes to the stage at every available opportunity.

And what would a day at Disneyland be for two preschoolers without a hug from Cinderella?

 Our Disney Day coincided with the Annular Solar Eclipse. I really should have taken pictures of all the people doing their very best to figure out a way to catch a glimpse. It appeared to me that no one was doing any better than I was at figuring out how to do that. We only experienced a partial eclipse, meaning that even with the moon’s position between us and the sun, that “blazing orb” didn’t exactly fade.

The ferris wheel at California Disney

So four adults and two children went up in this giant ferris wheel at 6:00 pm…

 

 Yes, I know it doesn’t look like much! I have dozens of photos just like it :-) There were some interesting shadows indicating the moon’s presence, but the best I could do was blindly aim the camera in the direction of the sun and snap away. I’m afraid that this was the result of my best effort. I wish you could have been with me just to experience the unusual light.

I suppose taking photos at all–even from the top of a ferris wheel, just tells you something about me. I do my  best to put my energy in the direction of being hopeful. And that’s how I will end this week.

If there’s anything I’m sure of…we all have “stuff” we’re dealing with. So find the little joys this weekend, and hold onto them.

Working just a little harder at breathing lighter… Debra

Breathe lighter…turn off the clamor and define the day with a little music!

Simon and Garfunkel Mrs Robinson UK EP

Simon and Garfunkel Mrs Robinson UK EP (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Not Robin Gibb, too! His death isn’t a surprise, of course. He’s been ill for a very  long time, but on top of Donna Summer’s death last week his sad departure is particularly poignant. Not only are two great voices hushed, but for some of us who occasionally need their disco fix, listening to their tunes may now elicit a few bittersweet musical memories.

I wrote about my full Disco appreciation last summer and personal praise for that particular musical era  here.

Whenever I’m feeling a little at odds with myself or the world-at-large I can count on music to feed whatever the need. Classic Rock is good for a little mental head-banging while a day of Laura Nyro, Norah Jones or Tony Bennett–especially his more contemporary duets, easily brings me closer to bubble center.  I have a very large musical library and my tastes run in all directions, so there’s always something from the past or present to accompany mood and complement the current situation.

I began to seriously think about this yesterday while having another Starbucks’ breakfast with Karina.  A wheel-chair bound woman rolled up to our table. I’m accustomed to grandmotherly-types engaging with Karina and fully expected that to be the case here. But instead she caught me by surprise, inviting a conversation about the Starbuck’s music playlist. She had come in from the outside just to listen to the music.

She told me how music was important to her, and that she lamented that younger people don’t appreciate music “like we do,” I guess assuming we were the same age.  I didn’t bother to argue that I think young people DO appreciate music as much as we do.  As Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” began to play she grew so excited I was a little uncomfortable, wondering why I was singled out of a large Starbuck’s crowd for her morning conversation.

I extended our encounter by mentioning that I recently spoke to one of our university students about Simon & Garfunkel and had been greeted by a look of total non-recogntion. After many attempts to find a way to make the reference relevant to him the lightbulb briefly flashed when he noted he “sort of remembered” the song from the movie The Graduate. I seized the moment and found a youtube clip so he could see the genius musicians–he claimed he’d never heard of them. Yikes!

My new Starbucks friend, I found out her name was Sally, used that story to punctuate her position that young people just don’t know and appreciate music. Oh well…

She was going to sit here drinking in the music, no coffee that I could see, and fortunately for me, I had Karina to care for and moved on. It wasn’t an unpleasant encounter and I thought of her all day, wondering how long she’d lingered at Starbucks and hoping she had a good day. She did love music!

I also remembered one other small story illustrating music’s broad appeal and emotional connectivity. Several months ago I was meeting a friend for lunch across the street from work. I arrived early and was sitting facing the door, as well as all the other customers, waiting for my lunch partner to arrive. The background soundtrack wasn’t memorable and was really more of a drone. I barely heard it. But then! All of a sudden…

Rah, rah, ah, ah, ah

Roma, roma, ma

Gaga, ooh, la, la,

Want your bad romance…

The place lit up! Lady Gaga’s distinct and pounding rhythm had my own toes tapping. I looked to my left and a  woman was shaking her head, surprisingly unselfconscious.  Then I noticed a young man sitting next to her doing the same. It took a moment before I realized that the adults at the table were developmentally delayed. And they were loving this music! They’d been sitting still and non-communicative, but when this song came on, so did they!

The best part of the story was when my eyes locked with the young man’s. When he knew he had my full attention he completely brightened and animatedly began to sing the song–TO ME!  Not so much outloud as lip-synching,  but he wanted to be sure I KNEW he knew those lyrics. If this had been anyone else I’d have been completely uncomfortable, of course, but it was wonderful! He was so thrilled to share this moment with me…his audience. And I only wish I knew a way to tell Gaga this story. I think she’d me proud!

I’m going to be working today and need a little quieter background sound. No Lady Gaga today. My Pandora station of choice will be Eva Cassidy, another songbird gone too soon.  Cassidy died from Melanoma at the unbelievably young age of 33, however, her music has a depth that to me comes from someone much older.

I’ll leave Donna Summer or the Bee Gees for home. It’s impossible to listen to them and  remain connected to my office chair!

Are you in a particular music mood today? Feast–and breathelighter!

Singing very quietly…Debra

The Road Less Traveled and an Annular Solar Eclipse…all in one post.

Eclipse Anular

Somewhere in my mid-30′s I remember  being continually exhausted , balancing a very busy life and not being particularly mindful of my choices. I don’t think there was any particular life crisis, but I was always running with family matters. I also went back to school while attempting to define myself with new personal career goals, and at the same time was involved in more committee work and  civic engagement than I would now deem reasonable.  My daughter, my first of two children, was born when I was 21, and I could foresee that as my children were gaining on high school it was now my time to figure out what I wanted.

One of my most memorable moments of that time, believe it or not, was reading M. Scott Pecks’s The Road Less Traveled. I opened the book and read the first line, “Life is difficult.” I honestly don’t remember what I was thinking to elicit the following behavior, but I promptly threw the book across the room and said, at least to myself, “Why didn’t anybody tell me that before now!”

I’ve never forgotten that moment. Up until that time, I had felt that I was in control somehow and that if I did everything “just right” I could mitigate most of life’s difficulties. My rational mind couldn’t have thought that, but my obviously not all that mature psycho-social self somehow believed that every challenging event was something to be hurdled. Not just get through it, but tamed, mastered, and then let’s move on. This should give you clues that up until then I had obviously not encountered any crises that were the knee buckling sort. No untimely deaths, illnesses or severe losses, just the typical every day challenges.

I had not previously really acknowledged that much of life is entirely beyond our control. Things happen. There is no doing everything right. Studying human development I began to understand that I was in a cycle of expanding and growing and achieving. I was actually changing and learning at a very accelerated pace, more or less making up for lost time. Not that raising my family was ever “lost” in any way, but I had skipped some of the stages of post-adolescent independence, marrying at nineteen and immediately starting a family. I was making up for lost time. And it WAS difficult!

I’ve been thinking about the complexities of the total life cycle as I have watched my dad and mom navigate my dad’s hospitalization. Observing him in recovery,working to regain strength in what could be a lengthy  recuperation period, I have definitely taken note that I have been blessed with wonderful examples of grace and acceptance, faith and perseverance in both of my parents. They have given me an excellent template for how one successfully navigates the changes and challenges of growing older. Since I’m not getting any younger myself, I really feel grateful that I can look to them for clues as to how to mark my own future with mindfulness.

I’ve had two or three weeks of slowing my pace to acknowledge my desire to be closer to them during this period of transition, and in that time I’ve had reason to think about how much our ability to accept challenge and sometimes disappointment affects life satisfaction. Then I read a little article in the paper and shared an ironic chuckle.

There is a lot of talk here in Los Angeles about our viewing a rare “annular” solar eclipse as it moves across Western states on Sunday. From Oregon to Texas the eclipse will darken the center of the sun leaving a visible “ring of fire.” In L.A. the full ring will not be visible, but it should still be impressive. 86% of the sun’s diameter will be obscured by the moon.

The article that captured my attention stuck like glue to the theme “Prepare to be disappointed.” I had to laugh. It could have been a throw the book across the room moment, except I was reading on my computer. Really? Start preparing to be disappointed? Sure, we may have clouds, and since I’m not going to stare directly at it in the first place, my personal experience without benefit of an observatory might automatically be a little “less than”–but I’d rather not begin preparing for disappointment NOW, thank you.

Just reading that article captured my thoughts and I’ve been aware all day of how often the messages that come at me are negative. Being hopeful isn’t often celebrated! Yes, things happen. Life changes. We age. We change some more. But I expect good things to come, even from uninvited change.I’m not going to white knuckle life. And no matter what is to come, I refuse to anticipate disappointment. I hope I can retain hopefulness across the lifespan. Minimizing negative talk and distancing from people who revel in that negativity, and my odds improve!

If you’re as awed as I am observing an eclipse, you might like the following video. I like to pretend I thoroughly comprehend…where I don’t, I just appreciate!

Still breathing lighter…Debra

Saturday Paws–Taking a pause and noticing the small things

Sometimes a pause occurs without my PAWS– Mae-be and Ruffles.

“What the woof?”

“Really? Is there a world out there you haven’t told us about Mom?”

And this most recent Pause was not on a Saturday! How confusing!  Life can indeed surprise us in a snap–no news in that, and yet somehow the energy it takes to go from one day to another requires us to ‘float our disbelief’. It seems that for me lately, lessons in accepting changes have come at me in my daily life and workspaces– even more than usual. It’s been a very confusing time, but let’s just leave it at that for now. The facts, as I see them, are not such that I would want to share now. Maybe later !

But when I have the chance to quiet and look around, I find there are signs and symbols of how the Creative Intelligence–God–Holy Spirit– Mother Earth/Father Sky is ever-present and available in a loving embrace of my humanness.

Look carefully…

Recently my ‘Day Job’ required a change in office, and even more. As I was adjusting to these changes I noticed outside the small window  (yay a window!) a beautiful Hummingbird drinking from the small, yellow trumpets growing wildly about in the small closed off space just outside the window. The first day or two was full of confusion within the office room, but looking outside I saw the tiny bird just going about its business without any concern for me. That’s how I believe  Mother Nature should handle her world!

Then, probably about Day 3 of all the changes, now with my desk moved next to the window, I watched the hummingbird slow down– a pause if you will. And then she went to the cup-like brownish collection neatly attached to the end of a hanging branch.

The little bird had fluttered  all around the nest but until that moment I had not had the patience of mind to be aware of this small miracle happening just feet away. Patience is a word that I struggle with in its meaning– or so I have thought.

In this office is a lovely, huge, old green and ivory bound edition of “The NEW Webster Library of Universal Knowledge.”

Oh what a fun book for bibliophiles! (Yes, another thing that Debra and I share!)  So, I looked up patience, and was surprised to see this word has roots connecting to the Latin word for passion.  Really?  That could explain why I have trouble ever seeing myself as ‘patient’  because I am aware of  my heart beating stronger and faster as I inhale and mindfully exhale!  In times where I have waited for other interventions, or medicines to take effect, doctors, tooth fillings, decisions to be made by others – I felt my passionate interest and concerns regarding each!   How could this be so?

Hmmmm…I read on!  ”The character or habit of mind that enables one to suffer afflictions, provocations, or other evil, with a calm, unruffled temper.” Well, I can certainly try to put my gameface on, and sometimes with practice it is more than a try to –it is a being there! Yay!

If you are a bibliophile,  you like me, read on to “patience is bearing pain or trial without murmuring.”  I thought of the old list of virtues mentioned somewhere in my history or reading of books like “Little Women” where women were noble for ‘suffering in silence‘.    When the Hummingbird quiets to do this noble work of nesting and now feeding the little ones I cannot see yet, is she suffering in silence? 

I do not believe so. The reason Hummingbirds have this name is because we can hear the noise they do make–their signature “HUM”! I hope you can see that to breathelighter often requires a different style of our usual breathing and one way to get there is by letting the breath flow out like a slow drone, a slight hum, a murmur of our own making from our human doing-ness to our human being-ness.

Thank you for reading and sharing with me how your pauses have been lately!

Blessings, Beth and Hummingbirds  (Yes– they mate for life and do this, patiently together!)

Succulents and cactus…spring in a California garden. Think water-wise.

I’m always commenting that I don’t have much time to enjoy my garden and that between work and my “extra-curriculars” I’m not home as much as I would like. Today was a rare exception. Instead of spending “granddaughter day” at their home, we brought Sophia and Karina to our house so we could be a little closer to the hospital if needed.We really thought my dad would be released  today. Everything was moving in that direction but it seems his doctors were called to more urgent matters, and my very patient parents just hung out at the hospital all day waiting for the final physician sign-off. We did volunteer to come over and stage some kind of choreographed protest to “spring him,” but he doesn’t like to make a fuss.

It was a good day to sit outdoors, let the girls play, and for me, just to have a chance to observe my own backyard. Would you like to see what grows in my Southern California garden? I have roses, hydrangeas and iris, as well as lavender and  a variety of fragrant herbs, but in our Mediterranean climate I also have great success with succulents and cactus. And you may not be familiar with how  these hardy, drought-tolerant specimens flower, especially in the spring!

The picture is a little dark because it WAS a little dark. These cactus blooms greeted me before sunrise Mother’s Day morning. They bloom in the night and close up in the heat of the day.

Still here on Monday…

And then gone by Tuesday…

Can you see the little blooms-to-be? First they look like little cotton Q-TIPS…but they’ll flower soon.

All shapes and sizes…and colors

Little spiky stems…waiting to flower

I threw this one in as a little tease. Winter weather is a little hard on our G-scale (Garden) railroad. I’ll have some pictures to show you soon…all little boys enjoy their trains. And I enjoy accessorizing–with lots of succulents and cactus.

And one final note…while I was putting this post together, Mom threw dad into the get-away car and they beat it out of the parking lot and headed for home. They escaped by cover of night…and are now safely holed up in their house. The long incarceration  hospitalization is over…and we are seriously thankful and glad to have him home!

Breathing MUCH lighter…Debra

Newspaper seed starters…a practical mental distraction!

Allotment Garden of Kauswagan, Cagayan de Oro City

Allotment Garden of Kauswagan, Cagayan de Oro City (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve been very distracted today. Dad has been in the hospital about eight days now, and he is really ready to come home. Extreme restlessness is a good sign he is feeling much better, and to the doctors’ credit, they recognize he will undoubtedly do better completing his full recovery with his personal creature comforts. The delay is simply cautionary and he will be released very shortly. Although I am not in a worried state, I’m still not quite sure where to place my not-at-my-workplace attention. The office has defined goals, so my concentration holds fairly well. But when at home I am completely unfocused. I can’t seem to dig in to any unfinished projects; I sense I will be interrupted. And as much as I love to read, my mind is wandering.

The one thing that I do with relish; however, is get my hands dirty! This time of year I could putter in the garden almost non-stop. My time at home is limited, so there isn’t as much clear productivity as I might like, but even a few minutes pulling one small patch of weeds or repotting a plant to give it more wriggle room–even a few good moments make a difference in overall garden aesthetics. It’s personal therapy, even if no one else notices.

Despite the lack of much time, I’m a perennial optimist, and I have been on a seed planting buzz. I think I’ve been significantly influenced by many of my “blogging buddies” with small farms and allotments. Celi at The Kitchens Garden and Claire at Promenade Plantings always inspire me with their beautiful organic gardening. They have also encouraged me to be more resourceful with my seed planting techniques. You can read about their newspaper and tp roll seed starting methods here and here.

When I am under stress of any kind I gravitate to activities offering simple repetitive motion! My brain rests a bit while I’m doing something with my hands.  Since I have more seeds than I have seed-starting receptacles, and it’s a bit too late to accumulate all those cardboard tp tubes Claire got around to using, AND I also didn’t plan ahead to purchase one of those handy-dandy wooden devices that Celi uses to make her paper pots, I wasn’t sure of my next step. But then I went to my favorite source–and youtube to the rescue…again!

So now I’m all set and ready to go! I have plenty of newspaper, more seeds than I can actually use (I suspect I’ll be sharing), an in-between-other-things repetitive motion/mindless activity, and multiple teachable moments for my granddaughters. Perfect!

And then I have one more quick and easy distraction that will certainly rejuvenate and restore energy. Kevin, at Nitty Gritty Dirt Man, demonstrated a simple propagation method for hydrangeas–one of my favorite garden showpieces. You can follow Kevin’s method here, and I am eager to get started. In our area they are not very expensive plants, but that’s hardly the point. I enjoy watching things grow, and although I can be quite impatient with many things, I seem to have respect for growing seasons and everything taking its own time. Waiting for germination and a plant to develop slows a pacing and overly active mind. Translation– I breathelighter! Even simple garden pleasures are good for my well-being.

And my parents are avid gardeners as well.  I am sure once they get home, following a brief recuperative period, they, too, will be eager to resume their gardening activity!

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul… John Muir

It’s a wonderful time of year to go outdoors and get your hands dirty. I hope you will…and if you haven’t previously shared how you enjoy springtime gardening, I’d love to hear!

… Debra

Hospitals and Tae Kwon Do…Waiting to Exhale!

I can usually count on my Friday’s to be one giant exhale, but it’s the weekend and I’m still running. My dad entered the hospital via emergency last Saturday, and although he is doing very well, we are learning that recovering from pneumonia can be complicated and  just takes time. So we aren’t yet sure when he will be released and the whole family is contributing time at the hospital in hopes of not just of being closer to him, but also occasionally giving my mom a chance to leave the room without concern that the very moment she goes to get something to eat or exercise her legs she’ll miss seeing one of the doctors. In other words, there is a lot of waiting around.

And you’d think that waiting around would be the perfect situation for getting caught up on some blog reading wouldn’t you? Well, guess what? Our hospital has blog filters! Yep! Provided a log-in and password and armed with my trusty iPad I was all set to at least do a little reading. We’re talking hours of sitting, so good reading time! But then this strange little box pops up to tell me that blogs are prohibited except for one hour a day. Now what sense does that make? The legalese addressed hospital concerns for patient privacy stating I could have ten minutes at a time on WordPress and not to exceed one hour a day. If I had any plans to breach patient privacy I would need to be quick about it! Good grief. So my blogging this week has been really spotty.

Today was a one-day respite from the hospital, spent with my granddaughters. I was able to sit on their patio, enjoying a little warmth and sunshine as well as reading a few blog posts. The last one I read before we closed up shop to get to Sophia’s Tae Kwon Do practice was a post by The Accidental Cootchie Mama, Andra Watkins. Her title caught my attention, Why Are the English So Bloody Nice?

Andra refers to a trip to England and her observation that the British people were friendly, with genuine “hellos” and “goodbyes” unparalleled in her American experience. I offered that I thought Southern Californians were quite friendly. I have good experiences on the street when I make eye contact and say hello. I don’t encounter unfriendliness anywhere, really. But my concern with Southern Californians is an increasing level of rudeness.

That may seem counterintuitive to my claim that friendliness prevails. But my point was punctuated today with dozens of parents collected in one large room presumably to observe their darlings practice Tae Kwon Do. The parents are a friendly and jovial lot! But remember. I have already made the claim that most people are VERY friendly.

I couldn’t help notice the dad in the front row on the phone. Not whispering. He had to speak up to be heard in an active room, but in his defense the door was a good 15 feet away. I also really enjoyed the smiling dad sitting behind me thoroughly enjoying whatever he was drinking in that paper cup! He enjoyed it so much he just couldn’t contain himself, and seemed sure we didn’t mind the sound of air being sucked through the straw. I don’t think he noticed the loud objectionable noise. I did.

Learning to kick! Concentration requires tuning out distractions!

Then there were the very happy, oh-so-pleasant parents with the younger children scooting all over the floor. Not wordlessly playing mind you, but slithering all over the place speaking to Mom (and the rest of us).  Mom flashed me a friendly smile while also sharing the universal sign of parental resignation–the shrugged shoulders and wordless wink that tells me she isn’t planning to interfere with her child’s creative expression. What good would it do?

Other very friendly parents stood in the doorway and chatted at above normal voice levels…but who could blame them. They had to talk louder. After all, the instructor and our martial arts-learning children were performing and that can be loud. If you want a personal conversation you must raise your voice!

Breaking a board with her hands. Again…paying attention and not being distracted by loud chatter from the back of the room.

So after responding to Andra’s post and mentioning  my belief that rudeness is on the rise, I couldn’t help but notice the distractions. I could tune most of it out, however, and simply enjoy the children. They didn’t seem to care.  I think they’re used to it!

Belt testing over…moving up to a yellow belt!

Whatever is going on in your life, and I know that many of you have difficulties and heavy concerns of your own, I hope you will find at least a little personal refreshment. Mother’s Day is hard for many of my friends, and it may be for you, too.

Still, I hope you have a good weekend, possibly shifting your priorities a bit to take care of yourselves. Find some ways to refresh before Monday. I’ll be checking in from time to time–between the hospital no-blog rule periods–and hope to hear you’re doing well!

…Debra

Dark Shadows…I’m having a teenage flashback and I’m loving it!

Dark Shadows

Dark Shadows (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t have a good source for keeping up with the latest entertainment. I usually find out about movie “coming attractions” only through the newspaper, and rarely get too excited until I might learn more through friends who recommend.  I am more than happy with Netflix and at that, only occasionally. I had a recent laugh at myself when listening to a radio host speak of his uncertainty in allowing his eight-year-old son to see “The Avengers,” and I was just mystified as to why this child would be interested in Emma Peel and John Steed. I really didn’t understand…I don’t know comic book characters, either.

But I literally giggled on an early drive into work when I looked up about a month ago and saw a billboard promoting the release of Tim Burton’s “Dark Shadows.” Nostalgia came over me just like…just give me one– the dark sweeping cloak of a vampire. How can someone who rarely sees movies get this excited over just a title?

Well, let me tell you. And some of you can play along, because you remember!

ABC debuted the series, Dark Shadows, as afternoon programming on June 27, 1966. The timing, I’ve discovered, was planned to “hook” kids on summer vacation, telling the story of the prominent Collins family and the spooky happenings on their creepy Maine estate. The plot line of the show moved very slowly, but promised the intrigue of seances, apparitions and time travel in which actors also played their characters’ ancestors.

The show only did so-so in the beginning, but then, Look Out! In comes Barnabas Collins (played by actor Jonathan Frid), and the show took off! Teenagers, and I was one of them, rushed home by 4:00 every afternoon to tune in to see what Barnabas was up to. Diane Werts of Newsday described Frid in his role as “an unlikely teen idol–a soulful 40-something vampire, trendsettingly tortured by his bloodsucking urges.” I love that description!

Of course there were also werewolves and witchcraft, in live-to-tape black and white production–early television with its grainy, therefore spooky, quality, and for its time, I suppose, very edgy with eerie music and primitive special effects. There was nothing like it on television at the time; certainly nothing in the afternoon after school!

In our household this held some controversy. Everything this show was about went against what my parents thought proper, but I was 14 and just starting high school in 1966 and I think my parents very wisely looked around at all the potential trouble out there calling my name and decided that if a melodramatic soap opera could get their teen-aged daughter home by 4:00 every afternoon, they’d cut their losses.

I haven’t seen even minutes of an episode since the show went off the air in 1971. The Complete Original Series/Limited Edition DVD collection went on sale today…131 discs sold in a coffin, a “bargain” at $600 for all 1,225 episodes.  It looks like I still won’t be seeing any episodes.

The Tim Burton/Johnny Depp “Dark Shadows” will be in theaters this Friday. From trailers and publicity I’ve followed–and a certain knowledge of the mind of Tim Burton–this will NOT be my childhood story of Barnabas Collins, Josettte DuPres and the lovely Angelique –she was secretly a witch!

Johnny Depp will make a fine character, however, and it’s time for something fresh. Depp claims to have watched the show as a child and has his own obsession with the characters and plot line. He was hoping to pay tribute to actor Jonathan Frid, who does have a cameo role in this production, but sadly passed away April 13th at the age of 87.

In tribute to Frid and in expectation of seeing the movie this weekend, you might want to take a peek at the two film clips below.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about the new movie, and if you remember the original show, do share with me. I’m all school-girl over this! You didn’t know I had a dark side, did you?

Muahahaha! Debra

It’s hard to breathelighter when WordPress goes rogue!

The Trouble With Tribbles

The Trouble With Tribbles (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My friends who do not blog…this post is designed as a pubic service announcement for all my blogging buddies. If you are not tied to WordPress through a blog of your own, just listen to me whine about inconvenience, and feel sorry for me! One of my stress relieving mechanisms is to clearly ask for what I need, so I’m asking you to be patient with me, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, and I really need to complain about it  And I’m also asking WordPress just to STOP!

Presumably, most, if not all WordPress bloggers, have been inundated with hundreds of emails…some change/glitch/non-improvement sending us email messages of all the responses associated with blogs we follow and have also commented on. There was a time when I was impressed that some of you have as many as one hundred responses to a popular blog post…now I’m just annoyed!

What makes this even more frustrating is that although I have hundreds of unwanted emails, I haven’t received notifications of new posts from some of my favorite blogs! So if I haven’t commented on your blog lately, I may not have even known you posted. Cyberspace has gone haywire. Sun spots? The Super Moon? Someone asleep at the switch?

This was a tough weekend to have issues. My husband was out-of-town and I spent my weekend helping my parents with some things that also required me to stay closely connected to email. That is until my inbox blew up. Somewhere around this time I also broke my reading glasses. I took this as a sign that I had reached my limit. I couldn’t handle trying to keep up with my typical blog reading enjoyment. It was simply impossible.

But then, Chicago John at From the Bartolini Kitchens came to the rescue! John has posted what appears to at least be a temporary  remedy to the problem. So if you have not figured it out on your own, go here and follow John’s clearly delineated directions. Be sure to say thank you! If you read some of the responses he’s received, you won’t feel so alone :-) Good thought, though, don’t respond unless you plan to follow his directions, because you’ll unleash a torrent of new emails in the process. Quite a conundrum!

So as I reclaim my volume control and move into a new week, I will also go back to see what I missed! I am quite sure many of you continued with your lives regardless of the overwhelming amount of email. I, on the other hand, was not as focused. But I did have a moment of humor when I recalled the now well-known Start Trek episode, “The Trouble with Tribbles.” I try to find the humor when I can!

Have a “tribble free” week, my friends.

Debra

breathelighter has an anniversary, so thank you for joining the party!

selosunshineaward

Sunshine Award

One year ago today two good friends and I launched breathelighter. We jumped in without any real idea of what we were starting and we had absolutely NO idea that there was a warm and inviting blogging community waiting for us. I couldn’t have imagined! Along the way we have met truly amazing people living in the most interesting far-away places. And I’ve met some California “neighbors” as well! You have all added so much to my imagination, my knowledge, my community–my life!

Things have changed for us over the year. One of the “3 well beings” had to drop out entirely, and some of you know Beth and her now famous Mae-be and Ruffles…but her very intense work schedule doesn’t give her as much time to blog as she would like. I thought we should change our name to something like “2 clueless women”, but WordPress doesn’t provide a means for making that change. For better or worse, the name remains.

But I think a one-year anniversary is a very good time to pick up some recently offered awards, don’t you? Kevin at Nitty Gritty Dirt Man and Meg at Meg Travels have both passed on the Sunshine Award. Meg also added in the Genuine Blogger Award. Kevin shares his passion for gardening and I enjoy following his schedule of gardening routines. Although we are on different coasts, I take a lot of cues from his gardening timetables. And Meg is passionate about travel and adventure. She writes about her travel experiences with wonderful photographic accompaniment. Both are super reading experiences!

The Sunshine Award comes with some requirements, which are:

1) Link the award to the person who gave it to you  2)Answer the questions that come with it and  3) Pass it along to 10 people and let them know they have received it.

So here are my questions and responses:

Favorite color:  blue

Favorite number: 100—the older I get, the more determined I am to hit the century mark. I did just have a birthday, but I won’t be seeing this number for a while!

Favorite Non-alcoholic drink: Coffee with soymilk

Facebook or Twitter:  I don’t like the Facebook changes, and I’m following several of you on Twitter…I apologize that it’s more like stalking. I’m having trouble getting the hang of it.

My Passion:  My family. I enjoy lots of things, but none more than my family…my granddaughters are the reason I have my sights on “100.”

Favorite pattern:  I’m a 60’s girl. Make that paisley.

Favorite Day of the Week:  Friday…the day to exhale

Favorite Flower: Impossible to say for sure, but I love gardenias.

For me the best part of award season is the opportunity to highlight blogs I follow closely and enthusiastically enjoy. I have many friends who support me by reading breathelighter but haven’t taken the plunge into broadening their blog reading experience. I’m always hoping that maybe they’ll find the time to explore some of the sites I regularly read. So I’m listing some that I follow closely and this is my way of promoting them as good reads!

But first, I’m bending the wording of the rules just a little bit. Instead of formal nominations I’ve created an Honor Roll!

Some of these wonderful writers have indicated that they aren’t  interested in pursuing awards–it takes too much time away from other blogging responsibilities. The Honor Roll doesn’t in any way presume further action…accepting the awards and running with them is entirely optional! I will even look the other way if you’d like to accept the award as an honorary token, bending the rules a little bit (wink! wink!). You decide what is best for you!

The Genuine Blogger Award doesn’t have any specific requirements and can be picked up at any time! So if you’re on my Honor Roll, feel free to attach both the Sunshine Award AND the Genuine Blogger Award to your blog.  And if that doesn’t fit with your plans, just enjoy a moment in the spotlight!

Drum roll please….

Views and Mews by Coffee Kat

Daily Sweet Peas

Wondering Rose

A Frank Angle

Eat, Play, Love

Kate Shrewsday

Andra Watkins

From the Bartolini Kitchens

The Kale Chronicles

Zestybeandog’s blog

Spirit Lights the Way

You may have counted eleven blogs. Once I realized I had an extra, I couldn’t choose one to remove. I don’t think adding in one more is a problem! With this many nominations it is difficult for me share about each one, but it only takes a minute to move through the links and I guarantee that each one is worth reading. I promise! Let me know if you add a few new blogs to your blogroll!
And once again, thank you Kevin and Meg! We are highly honored to be considered award-worthy! I can’t wait to see what we’re talking about this time next year.
Enjoy your weekend! Debra

Getting all misty-eyed as the university students leave us…

This is spring commencement weekend at Azusa Pacific University and the campus is buzzing.  Today is the last day of finals and young men and women are beginning to say goodbye. Some of the students working in our office have completed their work, could “check out,” yet are coming back in tomorrow, delaying their departures and emotional farewells.

I have been peering out my office window this morning,  chuckling as I watch students carting accumulated debris from their shared housing bungalows to their cars or the trash, probably doing two things: 1) packing up their goods; vacating for the summer 2) cleaning up “the evidence” before their parents arrive tomorrow.

When I first arrived in 2002 I thought I’d never bond with the young adults. Preschoolers were easy, but college students?  I was wrong. I love these brilliant and hopeful young people. I hate saying goodbye and I tear-up every time. They have their whole lives ahead of them, and I celebrate their youthful exuberance. They are talented and hardworking, and for the last few years it has been very hard to see them graduate, diploma and student loans in-hand, into an uncertain employment future.

So I wanted to share today because this morning Azusa Pacific University’s Men’s Chorale performed for the first time at the National Day of Prayer Breakfast in Washington, DC.

The Men’s Chorale is an admired choral ensemble in the School of Music, and the 100-voice talented group of men performs regularly at churches, schools and civic organizations. There have been other notable appearances this year including a performance at the USS Missouri in Hawaii and at the Celebration of Freedom Gala, honoring 34 Congressional Medal of Honor recipients at the Ronald Regan Presidential Library.

This morning we watched the young men perform via a live web-feed and again, near tears! We don’t always get to see our college guys decked-out in formal wear—and they look so young to me! All I could think of was what a tremendous honor it is to be chosen from all the other choirs across the nation, and how they will never forget this! Along with their wonderful director, Harold CLousing, the Men’s Chorale will now enjoy its first east coast tour.

I had hoped that there’d be a youtube glimpse of today’s performance…sometimes it’s just that fast! But no. No parents or friends in the audience to whip out an iPhone.  But I do have two clips to share from our School of Music, and I hope you might get a little lift from them. The first is a clip of the Men’s Chorus singing an Irish Blessing to a lunch crowd at a Chick-fil-A (fast food, if you don’t have them where you live), and the second a flash mob performance from the holidays. LAX invited the students to entertain weary airport travelers. I love watching the faces of those who aren’t expecting the serenade!

I simply wanted to pass along the word that despite the almost incessant messages decrying the devolution of society, often scapegoating young people, I have a lot more hope than that…I see evidence every day.

You just caught me all misty-eyed today. Debra

Once you’ve been sprayed with Malathion, you think twice about your daily dose of pesticides!

I stayed home this weekend and that was a treat…I didn’t even run errands. The only outing was my Saturday morning short drive to pick up the weekly produce box. I thought I’d share a few pictures of the contents of the box while I also tell you more about why I’m personally very interested in purchasing organic fruit and vegetables. I don’t just think of it as a luxury, I consider it very important.

Before the story…the visual aids.

This week’s box included oranges, asparagus, broccoli, chard, chives, collard greens, lambs quarter, lettuce, peas, spinach, and tarragon. The fruit and vegetables are locally grown, which means investing in the community and supporting California farmers. I’m very pleased to participate in that investment, but I’m also very happy to be assured fresh organic produce.

So why is organic important to me? Frankly, I think everyone would be wise to consider the health risks of lifelong exposure to pesticides, but there is so much written on the subject that as much as I love jumping on soap boxes (just ask my friends, they’ll tell you), I really don’t want to use this forum for that. But I will say that when it comes to advocating for safe food sources, I have several places where I feel comfortable wearing my activist hat.

My concerns started in the early 1980′s. California leads all of the others states in farm income, growing over 200 different crops, some grown nowhere else in the nation. So in the early ’80s when farm crops were threatened by the Mediterranean Fruit Fly, the powers-that-be began pelting us with overhead  Malathion spraying.  Determined as an insecticide of “relatively low human toxicity,” weekly aerial spraying of suburban communities, including ours, took place over a period of several months. Wasn’t that special?

Believe me, there was outrage. And fear, so the government’s response was to publicize the Director of the California Conservation Corps publicly swallowing the stuff and mobilizing mental health professionals with public appeals to stay calm. Our only instruction was to stay indoors. I think I remember covering the cars. I also think the fact that it took more than a decade for the bee population to come back was unsettling. With two children under ten years of age I was tremendously bothered by the belief that it was impossible to guarantee we would have absolutely no long-term effects.

In my mind, we’ll never really know. Maybe there was no effect and maybe it was indeed absolutely necessary. But I also think it’s a good idea not to ingest any more pesticide residue than is absolutely necessary. So I buy organic when I can. I don’t consider it a luxury–I’ll eat less if necessary!

These beautiful organic eggs are huge and fresh. They are "add-on" to the weekly box.

Even the rice is California grown.

We don’t all have access to the same amount of locally grown produce, but I do encourage making choices from as close to home as possible. Everyone makes decisions for themselves based on availability and preferences, but for those of us who live quite literally in what has been termed “the bread basket for the world,” I don’t really understand the need to eat imported and out of season fruit and vegetables.

To illustrate my point I’ll share two pictures and then explain!

Season’s Best? Which season would that be? This corn, shipped clear across the country from Florida, was in my local grocery store last week. Before I looked at any labeling I was genuinely confused to see it. We will see wonderfully sweet and very fresh corn in about two months. Can’t we wait? OK…I’m not going to harangue, but I just don’t see the need to transport corn clear across the country.

I am actually concerned that we are quite literally “corn-fed” people, but I would recommend the easily accessed documentary titled “King Corn” and perhaps reading Michael Pollan’s “The Omnivore’s Dilemma” to better understand my concern. These two resources are good jumping off points for learning more about what I believe is a serious problem with the nutritional value of our food supply.

OK. Now that I have that off my chest it’s time for me to shift gears and breathe lighter…so I’m going to go outside and enjoy the last few minutes of Sunday daylight. I’m doing my own part to counteract pesticides in my own garden. Just look at what came home with me yesterday?

I bought a container of 1,500 Ladybugs…I’m releasing them in the rose garden tonight. The funny thing is that I don’t think I have a lot of aphids right now, which may mean they vacate my premises to find an insect meal elsewhere. But that’s fine. They can go wherever they are most needed.

And Monday morning I’ll be taking Pinky with me to see Sophia and Karina. We’ll hit the freeway long before sun-up and I’ll have a good day!

Even Pinky gets good organic baby carrots. I try to be consistent!

Feel free to share your thoughts…I’m not an expert on these topics or concerns, but I’m doing what I can to make educated and informed decisions for my family. And if you have other suggested readings, I’d love to add to my list. I’ve already confessed I rarely need an excuse to buy a new book or two!

Good Monday to you all! Debra

After a long work-week, a return to Mae-be and Ruffles, my furry tokens of affection

How was your week? Our employment can really stretch our resilience, can’t it? But I admit that a good job can also be a source of delight and pride.  I have often mentioned to beginning therapists, “You are part of the good fight. You are helping others deal and go beyond survivorship of a mental trauma or disorder, and you’re in a country that still isn’t sure how best to do that.” In this current economy most cannot agree how or where to best cut budgets, but we all know there have been cuts, and in my experience, I can say that I’ve experienced brutal budgetary cuts to services supporting the needs of teens.

And that’s unfortunate. Teens already start out with major stressors: too many hormones, too many moods, too many free hours, too many peers who think it’s cool to skip classes and try weird and dangerous concoctions. Many have parents who are working around the clock or are otherwise unavailable—and all of these factors contribute to the challenges of just the average teen.

Then there are the youth that I work with! Sadly they have ALL of these issues PLUS a family history of exposure to drug and/or alcohol use, major issues stemming from families dealing with poverty, mental disorders and/or genetics for a variety of severe symptoms, as well as simply being guilty of just hanging out in the wrong places at the wrong times—and, no surprise, landing in the criminal justice system. As well there are the struggles in school with teens at least three to five years developmentally delayed. Very sadly, these are just a few of the issues these kids face every day.

This is heavy stuff!

So in mental health care units you will often find some evidence of attempts to relieve the tension with displays of humor: stuffed animals, a funny t-shirt or whimsical decorations–even computers decorated with touches from home. Some offices go all out with displays of personality complete with posted affirmations and positive statements—“Live, Laugh, & Love” or “Dream & Achieve,” –encouragement!

Then, of course, many people enjoy keeping photos of their families in the workplace.

As you can see, every time my computer boots up I am reminded of my two kids, and don’t you know I think of the responsibility I have towards their well-being and care. I have never been comfortable with personal photos of my loved ones in my workplace. I have good reason to keep my personal life separate. It’s not unusual for mental health clients to take notice and begin to comment on their curiosity about my personal life. This is almost never a good idea. The session is for the client and for it to be effective it’s a requirement that a client’s attention stay directed to his or her own life.  Similarly, a mental health worker needs to stay grounded; we need to be connected to our own heart and life energies.

How to do this? I realized I could do this with my dogs. Yes! Computer wallpaper!

To fight the good fight well, I certainly need to stay in touch with my personal core values and beliefs. It may seem an odd stretch to believe that seeing photos of my two furry girls helps keep me grounded, but you’ll just have to believe me that Ruffles & Mae-be do just that! They are important to me.

They are wholeheartedly loving and energetic–unquestioning and with zero hesitation. They are completely loyal, yet they are still interested in their own goals. That’s clear to me as I watch them both give and accept tokens of affection.

These are the tokens of affection they have shared with me this week. They’ve also shared with each other. They even manage to put their own tokens of affection on display next to their feeding places—their own version of what I do in my workplace!

Maybe this weekend as you recharge your batteries you can take some time to think about your own workplace. Have you thought about why, or who you dedicate your work to? I promise you the reasons are much deeper than simply for financial security. There are usually many ways you could find work simply to provide an income.

Think about refreshing your work-self with a token from home—perhaps computer wallpaper or a personal photo of those that you provide for or share with from your earnings—you know, from your labor.

And maybe when you get back to work on Monday you’ll find a way to grab hold of it and give it a good bite! I know that each day as I leave home and Ruffles & Mae-be, headed to that desk and office I say to them, “Okay Girls- Have a good day! Play nice with each other. Mom has to go make money for the treats!”  They understand. We all smile at that!

Blessings for a good weekend, leading to a good Monday, Beth & the girls

Confessions from a possibly out-of-control bibliophile…who doesn’t want to change.

I’ve previously mentioned my penchant for book collecting. I think it’s fair to say that at this juncture in my life I continue to bring more books into my home than I ever release. I can’t even read them at the rate I once did. I often say, “I live on hope,” and I do hope to one day have the time to read a lot more than I seem able to do just now. In the meantime, though, I can easily turn off the little voice in my head that signals perhaps we’re getting a little close to an unreasonable attachment. Or is it a compulsion? I don’t know. Better yet, I don’t care.

If we ever reach a point in our lives when we choose (or need–yikes!) to downsize and relocate, I am completely grounded in the reality that most of my little treasures will have to go. Until then, I’ll enjoy something that is earthquake-proof. And I do have earthquake stories to share with you sometime…don’t forget I live on shaky ground.

My collection is everything from the ordinary—books I just wanted to have because they sounded interesting to me—to editions that probably do have some value. I have been intentional with collecting signed first editions for many years now. The value in those books varies somewhat, with none being all that valuable. I don’t own a Hemingway or Fitzgerald, but I do have a signed Isabel Allende, John Irving and Tom Wolfe, among many others, but it’s nothing more than a fun hobby. I sometimes consider collecting like a treasure hunt.

I previously wrote about meeting Elizabeth Edwards at a local signing and a picture of that encounter is here. Given the way things turned…I am so glad I had that moment and her signed books are special to me.

And then I have little editions that give me pleasure whether they are valuable or not. I have an 1889 volume, “Louisa May Alcott: Life, Letters and Journals,” published one year after her death. The first edition book was published by the Alcott family. One of the key features of this edition is a frontispiece photograph of Alcott and a short greeting in her handwriting. When I first saw it my heart jumped…I thought at first I might have an authentic signature.

I don’t collect for specific value, but for fun. Maybe it’s the hunt! And then this past week I added one more signed first edition!

Many of you share with me the absolute pleasure of following the many adventures of Accidental Cootchie Mama Andra Watkins. If somehow you haven’t yet had the pleasure of being introduced, let me do that now! Andra is far from being a “one note” artist. I think she was born with a little recorder in her brain that somehow collected all of her life events for future recall—she can tell a story!

Andra and her husband, Michael (or MTM), just moved to a new home this week, and Andra’s sense of fun came through even in the middle of a stressful packing and relocation schedule. She offered a verbal auction, proffering personal items that weren’t going to make the cut to the new home, and all we had to do to place our bid and throw our names into the hat was give a reason we might like to receive the chosen gift.

Her first item came with the accompanying story of how she attended a Philipa Gregory book signing for the newly released “The Other Queen.” Prolific historical novelist Gregory spent a good portion of her book signing time answering questions about her previous book-turned-movie, “The Other Boleyn Girl” and vociferously lamented the quality of the movie. Andra’s observations about the event are very humorous.

Thanks to others who read of my interest in a signed book, the deck was stacked, and I DID indeed receive the book in the mail where it now resides next to other treasured volumes. Beyond my interest in the book itself, I have a very happy association with it because it came by way of Andra’s generosity. What a fun blogging community, and a lovely connection between two book lovers—one in South Carolina, and the other all the way across the country in California. Thank you, Andra!

I’ll conclude the week with a few photos from last weekend’s book adventure. I tend to stay away from places like this…for obvious reasons. I was surprised that Jay was so accommodating. He didn’t resist even once!

We took advantage of a sunny Saturday to spend the afternoon at the 17th Annual Los Angeles Times Festival of Books—the “mother ship” for a bibliophile. Hundreds of author notables were present for signings and forum discussions. I found it totally overwhelming. I do understand what happens to a child’s brain in a candy store!

We didn’t prearrange line tickets or make a plan…we just wandered and hand fun. Maybe next year I’ll have more self-control and can be trusted with a specific agenda and a roadmap to even more booths and interviews!

A beautiful setting for book sightings and signings, don't you think? How could I resist?

I witnessed a young woman purchase a first-edition Emily Dickinson for $1,000.00. It was nice just to see it!

Many authors had booths promoting their new releases. I had to take a picture of the name.

I'd love to join...if I had a spare five minutes! Maybe someday.

This is Jeff Kinney, author of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. He was absolutely mobbed by interested children with great questions for him. It was thrilling to see how many young readers attended this event. All is not lost...

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Indulge in whatever pastimes give you a pause that refreshes! I’ll look forward to hearing about whatever you do…and then maybe I’ll even spend some time reading one of the books I bought at the festival…oops! I wasn’t going to admit that. Oh well…I say it’s good for my well-being. Please don’t argue with me.

…Debra

Humming a little Kenny Rogers…taking a few deep breaths and lightening the load

A few weeks ago I mentioned that Jay was “in the dirt,” recovering from hand surgery. He’s been home for about a month with increasingly good medical reports…back to work in early May. Our daily rhythms have been further stretched a bit again this week. We had our agenda of responsibilities all in order to support a week-long change in Aimee’s nursing schedule…It does take a village to care for two preschoolers when Mom’s employment requires one extraordinary week of classes complete with travel to multiple sites all over the southland!

Let me just add an aside right here! To those of you who write and maintain a regular blogging schedule—especially those of you with young families and to some with  menageries requiring as much oversight as children—you have my admiration! I have NOT found it possible to keep up. Instead I have been humming Kenny Rogers’ The Gambler! “You got to know when to hold’em, know when to fold ‘em, Know when to walk away and know when to run…”

I’m not running, but I folded! Clearly I do have limits…and clearly we are intended to have our children when we are young! Part of maintaining my personal well-being and not risking accident or illness is respecting the fact that I’m not endowed with unlimited energy. When the children are going to run ahead and potentially get into danger we loudly call, “Stop your body!” Me, too!

Of course when we’re stretched a little thin there is also some inevitable law of the universe that additional urgent matters will poke up like weeds. We received the always lovely phone call that fraudulent credit card activity was detected. So close out one account and cancel any automatic payments…you know the drill. Then the mail came and another credit card was also compromised. Oh goody! More time on the phone with forensic bookkeeping. Didn’t we just finish taxes last week? Even Kramer, the cockatiel, ate a rebate check.

I declared on my last birthday that I was going to forego multitasking. I would rather give it up voluntarily than admit I don’t do it very well any more.

So when I’m caring for my precious granddaughters, they do get my full attention. I would like to say that my supremely attentive presence is because I’m such a fabulous caregiver, but at least a part of it is that if I don’t pay a lot of attention, I can’t keep up! They are smart little cookies, and they ask a lot of questions encouraging in-depth and inquisitive dialogue.

An example…

We were on a walk leaving Starbucks and headed to the park. As we neared the park Sophia suddenly blurted in a clearly disgusted tone, “How RUDE!” I didn’t react too quickly so she repeated the declaration and by then Karina was in on it, too. We stopped as they both showed me the evidence of someone’s “rudeness”—Starbucks cups and other trash littering a narrow ravine just off the main street. They explained to me how littering is someone being lazy and inconsiderate –not polite– to other people. We then, of course, also talked about the storm drains that were right next to where we were walking. One of their favorite destinations is the Long Beach Aquarium of the Pacific, so these girls already understand the ecological implications of litter in storm drains.

How hard is it to throw away a cup and straw? Even preschoolers know better! How RUDE!

I hope the offending litter-bug learned something about styrofoam and its offending properties with Earth Day awareness, don't you?

So here was just one of many conversations with Nan pulling out the best of her ocean ecology expertise, discussion concerning the impact of marine debris on fish and mammals, and in preschool terms, what it means to be a good citizen, which includes using a trash receptacle. That’s quite a conversation as you walk with an almost three-year old and her four-year-old-going-on-eight sister.

Then the conversation veered to the dead skunk they spied in the ravine. Naturally they noticed that!  Now I must admit I was a little fascinated here, too…repulsed, but fascinated. You don’t often see one just “asleep” and not on the side of the road! As a former early childhood educator I do like to seize upon these moments for a little vocabulary building and a bit of animal science. However, this also reminded me of the time a four-year-old child brought a shoe box with a dead bird into my classroom for share time–his mother thought this was a good “teaching moment” and I nearly lost it!

This skunk was clearly dead, but did actually look just like a sleeping pet!   I deny them little, but I do have limits, and the answer was a resounding, “No, we’re not going to get close to it.” We could look from a bit of distance.  So for the next few minutes I fielded the usual questions. “How did it die?”  I don’t know. “Are we sure it’s dead?”  Yes, a live skunk wouldn’t be taking a nap in the hot sun. “Isn’t a skunk nocturnal?” Yes, it is, that’s why we know this one isn’t sleeping in the sun. And then the best question of all, “Does a skunk die when it sprays like a honey bee dies when it stings?” What a good question!

I’m telling you! I have to stay alert to keep up! And to those of you who keep up every day? I don’t know how you do it. I’m tired. Delighted and happy and content and grateful…but tired!

It’s midweek. How ARE you doing? If you’re feeling a little stretched, maybe a little ragged around the edges, you may also need to recalculate your needs, realign efforts and see what duties–sometimes perceived responsibilities more than urgencies–might be jettisoned! By all means, do lighten your load!

And you can thank me for not including a picture of the skunk. It occurred to me, but then I remembered how I felt with that dead bird! Really! Who does that?

Just trying to keep up, Debra

Debra and Jay play “Where’s Darwin?”

I was so afraid I might have bad news to share. I came home from yoga just about sundown and went right to the greenhouse to close up for the night. You might recall that I’m sharing my gardening space with a Sulcata Tortoise of impressive size…Darwin is a member of our family. Right before I latched the door for the night I peeked around the corner where he customarily puts himself to bed every afternoon. Oh dear…he wasn’t there! I didn’t panic–yet. Maybe he was in the corner where the Timothy Hay is piled a little high. No, not there. I started looking around the yard.

No sign of him. And now I’m worried. Had the gardeners left the gate open? If so, then we have  an escapee.  Sunset was rushing me forward because Sulcata’s need heat. Our Mediterranean climate gives us lovely warm days, but the nights are still quite cold in April. His little greenhouse condo is outfitted with a heated under-belly pad as well as overhead heat lamps. He isn’t particularly energy-efficient.

Very concerned, we went  up and down the street, poking our noses into neighboring yards, even recruiting a few sympathetic neighbors to join the search party. Still no Darwin.  I went to bed nearly despondent. I tried to do some self-talk reminding me to keep this in perspective–but that doesn’t work. He’s our responsibility and I feel like a failed parent! And worse than that…how was I going to break the news to Sophia and Karina that their pet was missing?

Well, I don’t need to take you through all my thoughts, but let me assure you I wasn’t too happy. I left for work the next morning really worried that he’d come to harm, but fortunately just a few hours into my day Jay called with good news! The very smart  tortoise was home and basking under his heat lamp after a cold night on his own.

Warm and toasty...zzzzzz...

I could make up a really good story , but the truthful ending to the adventure is that we had a simple misunderstanding. He didn’t intend to cause us so much worry!

Here’s what seems to have happened!

Somehow he managed to get over a small brick border  intended to prevent him from going behind another short retaining wall on the perimeter of our property. We didn’t calculate how quickly he is growing. For those of you new to reading this blog, let me remind you of his first day in our household.

March, 2008...consider his size in the next four years!

Apparently he is now large enough to climb over the brick boundary…either that, or  we just haven’t seen him hop! However he maneuvered, he somehow managed to squeeze into a very narrow corner full of leaves and other garden debris, and we presume much like a child who sticks his head between railings and then can’t get said head back out, poor Darwin got himself stuck. Instinct kicked in, though, brilliantly created little creature, and as the outside temperature lowered he cleverly dug right into a deep pile of oak leaves, tucked his head into his shell, and went to sleep. Of course we carefully combed that area, but he was buried deep and completely camouflaged.

I’m certain you can imagine how relieved I was when Jay called me at work to say that the morning sun and warmth restored Darwin’s sense of wanderlust, and he was found stirring in the leaves.

Of course, now part of our weekend includes looking around the whole yard, attempting to view adventure from the eyes of a tortoise! Just what would look inviting? How strong is he if he is really motivated to move into new forbidden territory? Does he really hop when we aren’t looking?  He is growing every day…he will be HUGE over the next few years. We may yet need to build him a barn!

And I’m left wondering how is it that I can love this strange little creature…but I do!

The newspaper is placed to give you some sense of proportion. He is easily the size of a folded newspaper!

He eats more vegetables than many humans!

The girls try to cuddle and pet Darwin. They really are so sweet with him, usually asking me if it’s okay if they touch his feet. You can  see his bony plates, and his clubby, clawed feet are thick with sharp nails.

The hard carapace (top shell) is protection from predators, but also acts as insulation.

Legs are covered in dull, spine projections. The thick skin and spines also work as protection from both predators and extremes in weather.

I sometimes wonder what he actually feels, but the girls don’t think of these questions, they just love him and want to touch and caress. I, in turn, wanted Nan and Papa’s house to have an animal they could really cuddle!

I think this would be a good time for me to introduce another new member of the Fetterly household.

Meet Pinky!

Growing up our children always had bunnies. We even made it through a few litters offering the joy of watching baby bunnies develop from hairless pink eraser-like blobs to cute little bunny pets. Everyone keeps suggesting we get another dog–it’s been years–but I just don’t think we’re home enough to be good dog parents. But a bunny I can manage. So off we went to the pet store and the girls chose this little guy (or gal) and they named “her” Pinky. They adore her!

Pinky  can be held, and cuddled, and kissed–that’s Karina’s face buried in the fur with kisses–and now my weekly trips to San Pedro include bringing a caged rabbit, alfalfa, and food for the day down to their house so they can play with her. I tell you…I have my own petting zoo!

And with this much love for one little furry bunny, I think it’s a good thing that Pinky lives at our house and just visits a very adoring four-year old and two-year old. A bunny may need to come home and take a nap after this much attention.

It was a very exciting week for the Fetterly’s. I’m glad it’s the weekend. You?

…Debra

Beet Soup and the Art of Gyotaku

An example of Japanese Fish Slapping or 'Gyotaku'

An example of Japanese Fish Slapping or 'Gyotaku' (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was ignoring the few beets and carrots left over from last week’s produce box simply because my preferred method of preparation is roasting, and I don’t heat the oven for just a few lonely vegetables. I think all the Easter-related cooking sapped a bit of enthusiasm for much culinary creativity, but I grabbed this month’s selection from my VegCookBook Club, Blissful Bites, and found a very easy beet and carrot soup. It sounded promising.

Sometimes if I’m handling beets I wear thin kitchen gloves just to keep from getting my hands all red, but since I was only going to chop two or three, I didn’t bother. Sure enough, my hands were darkly stained in a matter of minutes, which triggered an almost entirely forgotten memory.

When we were newly married we lived for about a year on the same property as my husband’s mother. Marian lived in a very tiny back cottage and we took the house in the front. She’d been a widow for close to twenty years, worked hard as a school teacher and cared for her own mother, but in between—what there was of an in-between—she painted. Occasionally she would venture outside of her acrylics and oils on canvas and would decide to experiment.

This one time I walked to the rear of our house and found her outside putting paint and what I thought was red dye all over a big fish. She had been studying a book she’d found at the library about the Japanese art of fish printing–gyotaku! Traditionally, fish printing involved painting fish with ink and then laying rice paper carefully over the surface of the fish. When the rice paper is lifted off the life-size impression of the fish is revealed. The end result on delicate rice paper can be quite beautiful.

Well, she had decided that in order to save paint, and also to experiment with natural pigment, she was going to give vegetable dyes a try. The red color all over her hands and on the fish was very thick beet juice! I don’t think any part of it was coming out the way she had envisioned, but it didn’t matter to her at all. She was having a wonderful time! It was all about the experience–the tactile semi-scientific art experience! I can remember how enthusiastic she was about what she had learned about gyotaku—she was a high school art history teacher after all, and learning about a new-to-her art form and then giving it a try was the best possible “escape route” for a woman with a great deal of creative energy coupled with very demanding life pressures.

Art was her stress-reducer, and she maintained her curiosity and love of learning and experimenting with new art techniques, maybe not quite as experimental as a fish covered in beet juice, but with enthusiasm nonetheless, until she passed away just a few weeks short of 90.

I’ll share a bit of the recipe that triggered my memory. It’s taken from Blissful Bites by Christy Morgan. Christy also has a very interesting website absolutely full of recipes you might enjoy trying–or do as I do, and just read them! Even that is relaxing to me.

Christy’s soup had a few more ingredients, but I adapted it for what I had on-hand, and Jay and I both ate it right up!

Just a few ingredients necessary:

1/2 cup of water

2 medium carrots, chopped

2 medium red beets, peeled and chopped

1 TB coriander

1 tsp oregano

pinch of sea salt

5 cups filtered water

1 cup lentils (red was recommended, but I didn’t have red!)

1 TB red wine vinegar

1 small lemon

Simply steam the beets, carrots and spices in the 1/2 cup of water for just a couple of minutes until they’re slightly cooked. Add the rest of the water and the lentils and simmer partially covered for about 25  minutes. You can puree the mixture when it is done…I used my immersion blender. At the very end add the juice of the lemon and the vinegar. The tartness added to the sweet soup–carrots and beets are quite sweet, was just a wonderful addition. It could be topped with a little Greek yogurt or soy sour cream…I didn’t do either. It was good just as it is. Heart healthy and simple!

Some of us cook, some paint, others garden, or write or travel or make music or dance–or maybe enjoy all of these lovely pursuits! My mid-week encouragement to you is don’t let obligations or responsibilities keep you from celebrating  the art of living. Your overall well-being completely depends upon it!

Here’s a picture of a very happy Marian–almost 90 years old.

Happy Wednesday…Debra

Squirrelly behavior can be a major distraction

I like to imagine that if my weekly activities kept me closer to home I would be better organized. My closets would all be orderly—all the time. I wouldn’t have a week’s worth of mail sitting on the desk waiting to be opened and disposed of properly, and I would definitely step up my cooking skills.

But the truth is, I have reason to believe that may be a bit of fantasy. I did have a day to organize closets. I could have handled the mail. I was planning to try a new bread recipe. But I looked out my kitchen window and got caught in the drama of an acorn hunt!

To the best of my google knowledge our little guys are fox squirrels and they love our oak tree. What caught my eye this particular day was watching one squirrel scratching, digging, hunting down the acorns buried months ago. He was actually making kind of a mess out of one particular patch of ground, but he fought on. He knew he had a buried treasure.

I am fascinated with the instinct to bury acorns in the late fall and early winter. Instinct over need. Our tree provides food year round. Acorns fall by the bucket load. We don’t have snow to cover their food source. And we have a year-round bird feeder for the squirrels to rob.

Yet they still pull from their natural squirrel instincts, burying acorns all over the yard and then–and it’s an amazing thing to see—go back to where they put them and dig them up months later! Squirrels can be a little greedy, just witness the bird feeder, but they are also efficient little critters! I don’t think they waste much!

Yum! I found my acorn!

But I can’t blame all of my distraction on the activities of the backyard squirrels. I had other moments, too. How about watching hummingbirds take a bath in the waterfall?

And then there are these two little critters, who do happen to eat up a lot of my time!

But I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Most weekends we all have some things requiring our attention. I know I do!

But  wouldn’t it be good for your overall well-being if you followed my example?

What will you do to get distracted?

 Start your weekend early…Debra